MY UNDIESSSSSSSS ARE COMMMMMINGGGG
Talagang “Atencio”
I’d like to say that I was one of your favorites, but I know that you loved all of your apo. It takes a lot for me to cry and I know that if I just stop thinking altogether I could avoid this kind of hurt, but to do so would just be disrespectful and a serious injustice to you. Remembering all of the special moments we shared while they were few and at times brief, I can’t help but smile.
I don’t remember much about when you and lola lived with us in Queens. There are probably some pictures but I’ll have to go find them. Most of what I know is from what anyone who was old enough to remember tells me. You used to pride yourself in telling everyone how, when I was a baby and I slept with you and lola, I would use your arm as a pillow. You loved telling anyone and everyone who you introduced me to in the Philippines that fact. I was always happy that that made you smile. I always felt like you were proud of me the way you’d tell that story and it made me proud and thankful that I got to share that time with you.
When the “American apo” came to live with you in the Philippines for the entire summer, you made sure that we had everything we needed/wanted. You used to scream at us to have breakfast, lunch, dinner together, but we were kids so we didn’t listen very well. I fully understand its importance now. We got in a lot of trouble that summer sneaking out in the middle of the night climbing down the kamias tree to hang out with the boys from the gulot and climbing back up the water tower to get to bed before the sun rose. Despite the headaches we probably gave you, I know that you loved that we were all there. I wish I could’ve told you how much that summer meant to me. It was the highlight of my childhood and if I were ever given a chance to relive a part of my life it would hands-down be Summer 2002.
I remember one day we were all gonna go to SM and Robbie and I wanted to see if we could get money from you to go shopping. We weren’t going to ask you. Robbie went first and after about 15 minutes of watching TV with you in your room, he left. I went next and after about 5 minutes I remember you asking me if I were going to go also. When I told you I was, you brought our your huge money roll and gave me a few pesos…which prompted Robbie who was waiting outside to come on in haha. It wasn’t a whole lot of money and probably barely enough to buy merienda, but the fact that you wanted to give it to me made me feel really special.
We used to poke fun at you when you’d get mad and say your favorite catch phrase, “Tak ne da mo!” but I hope you know we’ll miss it. No one will ever be able to say it the same way you did.
You were always proud of being an “Atencio.” Something that you instilled in all of us. I take pride in how my pointer fingers curve slightly outward and I take pride in being a sugalero. Even though my last name is “Roque,” I’m just as proud to be an “Atencio.” Thank you for everything lolo.
I love you Apu.
Adele, you crafty, crafty bitch.
The Science of Why Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ Makes Everyone Cry
Tension, resolution, and the ever important “buildy-ness” (which is a term I invented but is accurate), these are the characteristics behind the most extreme emotional reactions to songs:
Twenty years ago, the British psychologist John Sloboda conducted a simple experiment. He asked music lovers to identify passages of songs that reliably set off a physical reaction, such as tears or goose bumps. Participants identified 20 tear-triggering passages, and when Dr. Sloboda analyzed their properties, a trend emerged: 18 contained a musical device called an “appoggiatura.”
An appoggiatura is a type of ornamental note that clashes with the melody just enough to create a dissonant sound. “This generates tension in the listener,” said Martin Guhn, a psychologist at the University of British Columbia who co-wrote a 2007 study on the subject. “When the notes return to the anticipated melody, the tension resolves, and it feels good.”
Chills often descend on listeners at these moments of resolution. When several appoggiaturas occur next to each other in a melody, it generates a cycle of tension and release. This provokes an even stronger reaction, and that is when the tears start to flow.
There’s just about the most detailed scientific analysis of a Grammy-winning song ever at the link.
(via WSJ.com)
When you wanna love, you won’t can’t. When you wanna be a free spirit, you’ll get trapped. It never happens at the most opportune moment and when it finally hits you it’ll be too late. I suppose that’s why all these stupid girls piss me off even though I was that stupid girl. Still, I’ve learned a lot that I hope to remember for the future, both from my faults in my relationships and my independent experiences (Cuddling just isn’t the same with a stranger.). I hope I can remember to cherish every moment and try to be a little less defensive, selfish, and bitchy. It’s easy to say now but I think I’ve gotten better.
To my friends who are in love, in it’s outskirts, or somewhere in between…just go for it. Without-a-doubt you will be judged and I will probably be the first one to judge you, but there’s no reason not to be happy and there’s no reason to wait for it. Speak your piece/peace and move on.
The Resurrection
How is it that I can feel so lonely and so excited all at once? It sucks so bad and still it’s okay; not knowing what’s going to happen next. It’s true that you don’t know what you have until you lose it, but it’s also true that I was suffocating. I don’t know what kind of person I am and I’m not the kind of person I want to be yet. I guess that’s what comfortability does. Something was bound to die whether it was identity or relationship.
I want to be more independent. I want to do things I want to do and stop wasting my life away. I want to be the way I was before I got all caught up in fleeting emotions and trapped in the mundane. I was so close then and so happy. I was so cool.
Trying to impress you? Oh sweetie, I can play the same game.
